"I'm a fan"...
...of blogging? Yes. This is a brand new chapter in my life. A new blog. A clean digital slate if you will; to ramble and rant, to unsheathe and dismember, to hate and to love to hate. I've learned that a lot of profanity (curse words...for your Corky's out there) makes you desensitized to the GREAT words that the foul language is made up of. And yes, that was a Life Goes On reference. If you don't get that one, it's time to pack up your keyboard and mouse...and go back to the seamless and hopeless romanticism on match.com. So, with that, I guess I'm trying to stake my claim as a classhole. And that I can make you cringe without using grandiose strings of profanity to convey a point. I think I have the persona and aura for it. In fact, I know so. I definitely do. Probably way over qualified. But I'm going to do it with ideas and exploring the taboo areas of your mind. I may hit on a dark topic so well that you will instinctively disagree with me because it is DISGUSTING that I am so right and you are such a poor piece of nothing that still lives with their parents.
So, clean slate, new memoirs. So to speak. I would have loved to carry on writing narrative thoughts about my encounters with the sad excuses for human beings that gravitate towards me like I'm wearing a name tag that says "Hi My Name Is Infinite Tolerance" but I just couldn't find the strength in myself to continue to use FACEBOOK as the vessel for my words. Yes, a facebook namedrop. I'm obviously cool and know people who know people who have slept with people...in my extended network. Or something. Me and Bon Jovi have 9 mutual friends. And I cry at night while listening to Slippery When Wet over the sound of metal slicing my flesh because I'm from New Jersey, and I'm hardcore. Oh and Good Fellas is playing in the background while all of that goes down. Sorry, New Jersey stereotypes? I'm not sure if I correctly addressed them, but I do hate a lot of people from here. And a classhole is allowed to be as liberal as he wants. So, I took a liberty or two. Deal. Anyway, Facebook is the absolute exploitation of human stupidity. If you disagree it means you love facebook and that you're a terrorist. Facebook is anti-american.
By the way, my impersonation of a retarded New Jersey retard (yes; retard 2x) started when I said "Me and Bon Jovi" not "Bon Jovi and I". The improper order of those two subjects is a HUGE asterisk in the records of stupid things our residents do.
So, faecebook. For instance, yes, I look like a hypocrite by talking about my facebook profile, but I use it as a guise to take advantage of girls with low self esteem. There's a HUGE difference than messaging a girl you just met at the Harvest Moon the night prior and updating your status to say that "you're at the gym and pumping up for the big game". Nobody cares that you work out before you play World of War Craft...you're a loser. And you'll probably be part of a school shooting someday. Because losers with guns are mean people. Hopefully, you'll be on the other end of that gun...pointing it at yourself...doing yourself a favor...for once. Once and for all. (knee slapper)
So, see how easy it is for me to drift. FOR INSTANCE...yada yada exploitation of American stupidity, yes. I noticed an update on that incessant mini-feed story section in which it read..."Melissa Nevarez got pregnant at 8:17 p.m. updated 4m ago". First off shocker! <---::sarcasm:: Gee, you have a promiscuous WHITE first name and a solid SPANISH last name that will be confused to be latino which then will be confused to be Puerto Rican which in return will yield no gosh darn surprise that you're pregnant...while still reading at a 6th grade level. And really? Who gets pregnant a little after Wheel of Fortune ends and right before your A-List sitcoms start? Really? Who? A Puerto Blancan. i.e. sluntty Melissa Nevarez. Congratulations you're great grandfather's last name was Nevarez and every person he's had intercourse with and spawned since then have been immersed in a pyramid of born in America Caucasians. But you still think you can dance; that's cute.
So, more importantly the reason I chose to reinvent my words on this site was to ensure that the creepers of facebook don't come and try to crucify me when I make comments like Samantha's breasts look too much like Harry Potter Books. Or Crystal was so drunk that she let me stick a lawn dart in her anus while simultaneously putting a screwdriver down her throat so she'd puke in Kerry's mouth. I don't know. I just let diarrhea flow out of my mouth and I will use your full name. So, don't come here if you can't hang. This is the all out truth.
This is very light. I'm trying to barely introduce a mood here. The idea of where we'll be going in this journey of tales and terrors. I only have one qualm for today. Maybe two. The first is the amount of pride and respect in myself I have for even considering myself a classhole. I believe I fit the bill quite nicely. I almost killed a cat a few days ago because it accidentally licked up cocaine off of the floor and ran out onto the roof (due to a door I left open) on a building in the Upper West Side almost committing kitty suicide. The coke and the cat were NOT mine. Ask me in person to tell you the juice. So, my beef, my heated steam of aggravation is really directed towards the first blog that popped up when I googled "classhole" to see if the name was available. If you'll notice the address of this blog is alcoclasshole. Or something like that. I don't know what it stands for...consciously. Oh, but you do.
So...classhole.net which I do NOT condone or support at all has its first post on December 27, 2007 at 2:36 a.m. which means he was drunk and thought he was funny at a party before he went home. 2:36 a.m. is my noon. I'll just be getting out of work and running to the nearest bar that will let me illegally drink past serving hours. It's been 9 months since its inception. Here is its first post.
Welcome! This is a Classhole’s blog for my fellow classholes, i know the site is blah but it will get better
~Tyhr~
The background is a template of a sky lit New York City, post 9/11...how politically correct and gives off a poor man's version of Carrie Bradshaw. Plus, the dude's name is Thyr? It must mean he's black and that angers me. I only love one black man. I have my quota filled. Let the hazing begin. he says the site will get better...does it? For the purpose of me hating on his kool-aid, indeed it does.
(I purposefully did not capitalize the "h" in "he" because I don't respect a man, nay, boy named Thyr; kind of like the polar opposite of capitalizing "h" in "he" in the middle of a sentence for god; neither of which I capitalized)
The second entry on classhole.net has an amazingly intriguing title. A title that really ropes you in to ponder WHAT DOES A CLASSHOLE THINK ABOUT, THYR?
topic: What Really Gets on my Nerves about PS2 (dec 28th 5:05 a.m.)
Are you kidding? Three hours later Thyr woke out of his sleep, raising his finger towards the ceiling in that eureka-esque moment because he thought of something to write about! Something to vent! PS2!
Some excerpts...with my thoughts
Ok imagine this, your sitting down watching a brand new movie on your PS2 (playstation 2) and it’s just getting good and then it starts to lag and your like “ok it’ll go away” and then all you see is the screen go back and it says “The Disc Can Not Be Read” and then your like no F**king way. ATROCIOUS
I cleaned the disc and tried it again and it still didn’t work, then i took the disc out and looked at it, not a scratch on it! So i decided that PS2 is a piece of crap to watch movies on, but a pretty good game system. EVEN MORE REPULSIVE
~Tyhr~ I'LL PAY A ZOOKEEPER TO TRAIN A RHINO TO RAPE THIS KID
I've got distaste for the PS2 for a whole different reason, my friend. PS2 is an inadequate system because you can kill a prostitute with an XBox 360 A LOT FASTER! It's heavier. It's just physics. Too bad XBox 360 is actually an entertaining system...when I'm high enough to think so. And too bad PS2 is only good for killing prostitutes, but it can't even do that the BEST. It's kind of like my future retarded son god will spite me with; he's going to be the BEST at doing everything WRONG.
And lastly, since I grow bored with topic, his third and FINAL post is about dramaqueens. It's terrible and the site lay dormant for 9 months only for me to stumble upon vehemently and yet defeated by another IQ-less incestuous larva.
Oh, and my second point of frustration will be explained in more depth in the next post, however I'll hook you here first. I am getting sick of people that use six degrees of pitification to try silence my humor about things like...the Virginia Tech shootings. This girl I know claimed that a comment I made was inappropriate because her room mate's cousin's stepbrother was killed during the shootings. I am BITING my lips not to curse. But please suck off an AIDS infested handicapped native from North Dakota; who has Parkinson's...so he can shake them AIDS up nice and sweet.
I almost began ranting. But I won't. Till next time.
classhole.
